Fizzling Out ~ My Feeling Heart

It has been half a year now, but it felt like forever. Forever waiting…forever hoping…forever holding on. And I don’t know how to stop. Probably because I simply don’t want to stop. I don’t want to give up on him. I don’t want to lose hope.

But…I guess there are things that should be better left forgotten. Just as the sparks had already seemed to die.

Yes, the sparks had seemed to die. I no longer feel the rush my heart usually does whenever he’s around. He also seemed to be of no interest anymore. Is it because the attachment was no longer there? Or maybe…there hadn’t been any attachment after all.

Sad, but could be true. He is my heart…still my heart…and always will. I used to say that nothing could ever change that. Nothing…even if I’m falling into pieces. But now, I realized that there’s no use holding on anymore. I’ve already spent my life hoping, waiting. Everything should end here. Now.

It’s hard, yes. But I’m already working on it. I know I could do it eventually. I should. I have to. After all, there hadn’t been any “you and me” to begin with. And so I shouldn’t let myself be taken over by my feelings again.

So there. After spending my life hoping and waiting, I’m finally letting go. Everything did end less than okay, even drastically worse than what I have imagined. But still I consider myself thankful though, for at least, in the past, everything was more than okay.

WISH I NEVER

I know I’m not for you
I know I’m not for you
I know I’m not for you
I know I’m not for you

All this time
You’ve been lying to me
Lying to me
And the feeling was too bad

And all of those years
I’ve been thinkin’ about our relationship
(thinkin about our relationship)
Will we exsist
Or will it just be a dream
(will it just be a dream)

Oh how I wish
I wish I never saw you at all
If I only knew that
I would only fall for you
Then

I wish I never saw you then
I wish I never met you when
I wish I never asked for more when
I know I’m not for you
(I know I’m not for you)
I wish I never let you close
I wish I never let you in
But it’s too late
I wish I never fell for you

I know it’s too late
I’m already lost in you
So please tell me
(please tell me)
How could I blame you
How could I forget you

How could I make you see
That I need you
More and more each day
When I only knew that
I would only fall for you
Then

It’s not easy
It’s not easy
Falling
Falling
It’s not easy
It’s not easy
It’s not easy

I wish I never saw you then
I wish I never met you when
I wish I never asked for more cause’
I know I’m not for you
(I know I’m not for you)
I wish I never let you close
I wish I never let you in
But it’s too late
I know I’m not for you
I know I’m not for you